Rethinking The Elements Of Happiness

The "science" of happiness will now be put to the test.


Yesterday, we received news that schools would be closed for the rest of the school year and, oh by the way, parks and playgrounds and athletic fields would be closed indefinitely.

Total gut punch to my family.

We've built our lifestyle around many of the conveniences that have been taken away. Close to school. Short commute. Walkable. A gym in our building, a parking garage. Restaurants and parks nearby. We preferred density over suburban land. Valuing mobility over square footage.

The world was bigger than our four walls. It all made sense in a non-pandemic world. 

 In the span of one month, everything has been turned inside-out. 

 More accurately: outside-in.

A month ago we were watching our kids play in a soccer tournament. I was helping to organize it. My brother and my wife's parents were visiting. The kids scored some goals and we went out for pizza and while it wasn't the pinnacle of happiness it was certainly good, according to our definition of good. Now we have 1200 square feet of space and our kids who normally have 2-3 hours of physical activity per day can't go to the park.

It's like going on vacation and being stuck in the airport. We've packed our swimsuits, reserved our world tour, booked new experiences ... only to find that our choices consist of uncomfortable chairs near the airport bookstore. More accurately: we are on the plane sitting on the tarmac.

I have a visceral reaction to questioning choices after the fact if those choices made sense at the time. I'm not sure why. I have a visceral reaction. My wife yesterday said she wished we had a yard. A truer statement has never been uttered. I'm not sure why my brain goes defensive. Of course I also wish we had a yard in the midst of a global pandemic. Maybe I just don't like the feeling of helplessness that I can't go back in time and change the current situation. It's a bug.

It's also a feature.

I'm pretty good at accepting reality and moving toward potential action. We can't change the past. What can we do to make things better now?  As the stoics say, what is within our control and how can we reshape our world for the better?

In this case ... oof ... near term options are limited. We have resources. Normally, we're able to buy our way out of difficult circumstances. Yes, this is the way people with money often look at problems. So, if we could buy a yard, we would. How would we do that?

  • Temporarily rent a vacation home. Could be done immediately. 
  • Break our lease and move to a rental house. Could be done within weeks.
  • Break our lease and buy a house. Could be done within months.
Each of these options has problems. Many vacation communities are closed to outsiders. If we found a decent rental house ... how do we move in a way that makes sense? Have movers touch all our stuff in a time of social distancing? Same goes for buying a house -- eventual stability, sure, but we'd be voluntarily dumping enormous helpings of change and uncertainty on top of an ocean of change and uncertainty. 

And then there's timing. What kind of world will we be living in come May, July, or December? For example, if we knew that life would be more or less back to normal by May, we could suck it up and stay home. If life is upended until July ... we need to figure out how to get outside regularly or spend a few weeks away. If life is upended until December ... we should be thinking about changing our home situation now. 

Even if all goes smoothly and we could physically move our things and get a yard ... what sort of time horizon makes sense? What happens if the day before we move, our state orders a mandatory shelter in place? 

I'm unable to answer many of these questions ... thus unable to make a solid decision. For the foreseeable future, many decisions will involve educated guesses, leaps of faith, and intuitions. Time to accept that. I don't know yet what we will do. 

Happiness Evolution

Perhaps more importantly, the elements of happiness will need to evolve.  Right now it's not about commutes or restaurants. It's about mental, emotional, and spiritual strength. It's about true connection with each other within the much smaller world of this apartment. The world has shrunk and we'll only be happy if each one of us is supported by the others. 

It's been said that crisis reveals character. The only way to get through this without being broken is to build resilience muscles, and for those of us with kids, to help them build resilience muscles too.

Investment Thoughts ...

After yesterday:
  • S&P 500 -34% from the highs
  • Mid/small caps (Whilshire 4500) -42% from the highs, but interestingly slightly above the lows
  • International large cap -33% from the highs
The crash has been so relentless that I fully expect a sharp rally to the tune of 15-20% for the indices. Maybe more. So I think we're close to a bottom.  It may have even started today. A bottom, probably not THE bottom. 

Anything could happen, of course. We could discover an effective treatment tomorrow. That would be the most bullish event in my opinion. Barring that, I would be very careful with any rallies. Expecting that the market has priced everything in after one bad month ... would be uber optimistic. 

So, it's hard to say if we are closer to the beginning or the end. It's likely we are close to the end of the beginning. Remember, a drop of -33% requires a gain of 50% just to get back to even. 

Some companies will bounce back much more quickly or even thrive in this environment. I'll be spending more time thinking about that soon.


What I'm Reading ...

The Border by Don Winslow. This is part of a series of fiction books about the drug war. Very graphic, but I've loved the series.

Stoic / Mindful Thought ...

This morning I was up at 430am with the cat. The cat lives in the present and is already confined to the apartment. We all need to be more like cats for a while.

What I'm Listening To ...

Top 100 Irish songs, on accuradio.com.

What I'm Watching ...

Top Chef. 

Final Thought ...

When this is all "over," will people fundamentally change socially and personally (doing more virtually / online, realizing what's essential to happiness, etc) or will we be so relieved to be out in the world that we start to reject online activity in favor of real world in-person connection?  Realize this does not need to be either-or.







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