Momentary Tension

There's a tension in my mind between living in the moment and seeing the bigger picture. It's in vogue to be in the moment -- be mindful, notice, observe. It's the only slice of time one experiences. Yesterday's gone and tomorrow never comes. 

I was listening to a podcast and the conversation was about why people hold onto beliefs that they know are weak or even untrue. One reason is the idea of a personal identity being defined by or connected to a certain belief, whether it be religious or tribal or whatever, and the fear that losing a belief will call that identity into question. And, there is some sort of weight given to consistency and continuity of self. If I don't believe this certain thing that I believed yesterday, who am I? 

There is, in a sense, a sunk cost of belief. It's as if we've invested in our point of view and to change our minds would somehow waste ... something. Which is a fallacy:

The Sunk Cost Fallacy describes our tendency to follow through on an endeavor if we have already invested time, effort, or money into it, whether or not the current costs outweigh the benefits.

Oh yeah, I find this to be true. It's incredibly liberating and empowering to realize that in fact I do not need to be/think/act the way I was/did yesterday. Why continue to defend those errors? Maybe that guy was a moron! 

Actually doing this in practice of course is difficult. I'm 46 years old with a boat load of experiences -- not exactly a clean slate (good or bad). But still, there's power in being willing to change despite prior investments.

So this is the ultimate living-in-the-moment idea. At any moment, there's freedom.

The tension comes when we combine this very helpful idea with another helpful idea, which is to see the bigger picture. Imagine your life from a third person view. You are part of a longer narrative, a wider arc. A single moment is just that, and perhaps it shouldn't be taken out of context. Moments can be tyrants after all, dominating you with needs and emotions and circumstances. Remembering the bigger picture can put them in their place.

I think about this all the time with my kids. At any given moment, they could be good/bad/loud/crazy/difficult/fun. These moments are ripe for overreaction, so it helps me to think about their lives as longer stories. A moment at age 9 is not without context, past present and future. They are smart and healthy and loved, they are building identities, and that is in fact an ongoing investment. I'm not sure I'd want them to discard everything that came before just because they listen to a podcast when they are old enough to enjoy podcasts. Not every podcast is worth existential change.

Alors, how to resolve this tension between moments and narratives? Do we stay in the moment and work to do so without bias or context? Or do we see ourselves as part of a grander story, even if it's just our own story? Some say true intelligence or wisdom is the ability to hold two opposing thoughts at the same time. Yes to being mindful in the moment and embracing change, AND yes to being part of a longer story and having a solid foundation to build on.

Maybe the real answer is to choose one's method based on what is needed. Sever ties with time when habits are bad or destructive. Stay grounded in the narrative when changes are throwing you off kilter.

The trite investing lesson is that a great stock can be poorly positioned in the moment and not worth holding, and/or still part of a longer, better story that is worth holding. Buying Amazon before and after the internet bubble was both a good and bad decision ... depending on one's perspective and tolerance for dissonance / patience for resolution. Maybe Moderna or Tesla are in that position today -- a company that has come too far too fast and also has a long way to go.

Believing in the better story -- the one where is all works out -- is helpful when things look bleak (volatility). Buy more of that story when the chips are down.